Just a disclaimer here at the beginning. Most of the stuff I am about to list has been proven beneficial. Other things I just have had personal experience with. Over all you should always do what you, your family, and your doctor are comfortable with. Sometimes it may overlap with what I am saying, other times it may be a completely different experience. Everyone is different and has a unique journey. Always take everything someone says on the internet with a grain of salt. So, let’s begin!
I think that it is quite clear by now, at least if you have snooped around this site, that I love all things belly, birth, baby, and beyond! That being said, I decided to dive into topics surrounding these areas a bit more than your typical, busy expecting couple. Many times parents think about bigger themes like: should we find out our baby’s sex, what does labor feel like, should I use a wrap or a stroller, or what color should we paint the nursery? And while these are valid questions that need answers, it doesn’t leave much room for less thought of questions that may, perhaps, be even more important.
So, here I am today to talk about a few tips that I either learned on this journey or through experience.
1. Baby’s vernix. Vernix, vernix caseosa, or affectionately called “baby frosting” is the white tacky stuff that many babies are born with covering their skin. It surrounded the baby while he/she was suspended in amniotic fluid and kept their skin protected and moisturized. It is usually seen on babies born before their due date. The amount of vernix varies greatly baby to baby, but it is usually a lot thicker on premature babies.
My advise? Rub that vernix IN not OFF. Many people see this white color and think that baby is some how dirty because of it, but the truth is is that it is an awesome barrier against their new environment while they are adjusting to life outside the womb.
2. Bath time. In modern society, many people remember the age old saying “cleanliness is next to godliness.” And while I would never discourage you from washing your hands, a baby doesn’t really need a bath right out of the womb. Many scientists are finding it is actually better for the infant’s microbiome (their new and developing immune system) for the baby to wait on a bath so that the immune system gets all the benefits from the bacteria in the birth canal.
To so many people this sound really gross, but let’s stop, just for a second, and think about this. In a perfect, intervention and complication free birth, a baby would be coming from a ‘sterile’ situation inside of the amniotic sac to a world full of bacteria and other organisms. The easiest way for a baby to develop their immune system against potentially harmful things is for their mom to pass on the information, and so she does in the birthing process. Bathing a baby too early can effect or interrupt how this process procedes.
So my advise? Wait on the bath. While most people will experience a slight ‘ick’ factor, waiting a few days, even a few weeks, has great benefits for the baby’s immune system. If you must bathe baby, use only warm water. I promise you will still want to snuggle your baby, even if there is a blood smear in their hair.
This is a completely anecdotal aside, but with my babies, when they were little, I bathed them at most once a week. Now, my son at 15 months usually gets 2 baths a week and my daughter, 4 years, gets 1 every other day. Neither one has ever had skin issues except for dry hands in the winter. Many people I am acquainted with that bathe their baby daily struggle with combating eczema in their little ones. The two seem to be related but there isn’t enough research to say if this is the sole cause, and there could definitely be some environmental and genetic factors in this as well. Above all, please make sure you use gentle soaps, if any at all, and lotions.
3. Breastfeeding in the early days. Good for you momma for deciding to try breastfeeding. You have no doubt heard “breastfeeding is beautiful and natural” and well as “breast is best.” And while both are true, breastfeeding is also hard. It is a time commitment. It is a mental, physical, and emotional commitment. Please don’t ever hesitate to reach out for help. Preferably to someone who is specialized in the area or someone who has successfully breastfed their baby 6 months or more.
So my advise? Stick through it. You will be proud of yourself. Even if you have to supplement, you are giving that baby so much. However, please don’t wait until you are suffering before asking for help. While in the hospital seek out a lactation consultant (preferably IBCLC). If you want to increase your supply faster, nurse, nurse, nurse. If your nipple hurt, ask for a shield and some lanolin/nipple cream. If your baby has trouble gaining, please don’t give up right away. Try an Supplemental Nursing System, or SNS. Give yourself grace.
I was fortunate in the fact that I breastfed without too many issues. However, even looking back, I could have been so much more proactive. I cried several days with both kids while learning to breastfeed and help baby latch each time. I struggled so much mentally, physically, and emotionally. I wanted to give up, but I didn’t. That doesn’t mean it isn’t overwhelming though.
Things that I did that I attribute to my success breastfeeding:
Pump, pump, pump. I was terrified of not having a big enough supply for my kids with school and everything else going on. I usually pumped religiously on a schedule for at least 20 minutes each time. Many times I did this to give my nipples a break from a bad latch and let someone else feed the baby. I know that this is controversial because of nipple confusion, but we used very wide based nipples/bottles, and had no issues with either child in switching between the two. I honestly feel like it taught my daughter to latch better. I also know that pumping on top of nursing can create an oversupply which can result in another set of issues. Some ways you can combat this is less frequent/shorter pumping sessions, using this oversupply to build your freezer stash, freeze drying your milk, or donating/selling milk to another family.
Skipping circumcision. My son has never been the best nursling. I struggled with him from the get-go and he still gets a wonky latch sometimes. With how how hungry he was in the beginning, how long/painful circumcision recovery is, and how sleepy it makes babies, I am pretty certain it would have made me give up. Studies have repeatedly shown that when a newborn is circumcised, they don’t nurse as readily as they did prior to the surgery. If we had done this, I imagine that he would have been hungry but quit nursing to sleep off the pain. I know that either when he had energy and woke up, he’d be ready to destroy my nipples because he was so hungry, or he wouldn’t really regain energy until he had food in his tummy and you can’t do that without nursing and using energy… I just cannot imagine making it through all that successfully.
And lastly, my desire to be different. Everyone I knew that was around my age and a mom chose formula. I knew breastmilk was a healthier alternative, and I like leading by example. My hope was that if people saw me doing it, they would think. “Hey, if Sydney can do that, I know I can!” It didn’t really work out that way, but I do believe that in our small town among our circle, I did my part to help normalize breastfeeding.
4. Know the time for movement, and the time for rest. As a birth worker, I cannot stress enough the importance of moving in labor. It is so beneficial for a person laboring to use gravity to their advantage. It also helps by opening the pelvis and allowing baby to descend. Movement is often the most overlooked tool in your belt because people just don’t understand how to labor except in a bed on your back. That only increases your perception of pain because you are taking in less stimulation and feeling like you aren’t ‘participating’ in labor. Please momma. Move.
As important as movement is, so is relaxation. Don’t tense as the contraction comes- lean into it. Don’t fight it, give in. A lot easier said than done I know, but if there is anything that I have learned, it is that the mind is very powerful when it comes to interpretation and understanding. If you give in and realize that this is your part of bringing your baby into the world and that there are only so many contractions that you will experience before meeting your baby, you are statistically a lot more likely to enjoy your birth than if you allow panic to take over.
Also, after labor, please don’t let anyone make you move faster than you are ready. I had my daughter on a Monday and went back to college on a Wednesday. I am sure that is why my postpartum recovery with her took at least a month longer than it should have. Listen to your body, not busybody opinions.
And lastly, at least for now: 5. Make sure your desires and wishes for your birth match up well with your Dr.’s statistics. Many people don’t know this, but you can, and should, ask for some background information on how your doctor practices. What is his/her c-section rate? Does she attend VBAC? Does he perform routine episiotomies? Does the hospital require IVs? These things don’t seem important to many, but if you are a mom that wants little to no interventions but your provider does routine C-sections for first time mothers, your birth plan will likely be met with some hostility. Likewise, if you are a birthing person who wants everything to be as controlled as possible, and your physician is really hands off, you will likely become very frustrated. Please do your research on the doctors available for you and choose the one that you not only like, but is supportive of your birth plan.